No More Palin Crapola

No more crap. No more crap. No more crap. The preferred mantra for politics in general, as I see it anyway. And, in this case, no more vague, superfluous crap answers from Sarah Palin. Please.

Sarah Palin running for office again? I can see it now... (Wayne's World "doodle-oo, doodle-oo" sound effects here) Palin and Dung 2012. 2012 being the number of times she will dodge a question in a single day. Or the number of times her hair tangles with her eyelashes in an hour during a tele-conference. Or the number of times a day that she waves 'hello' to her Russian neighbors. Who is this Dung, you ask? As in  the proverbial "Who Flung Dung" as her running mate - virtually her right hand man! Palin'll be flingin' Dung around faster than sh#t hittin' the fan! Hey, she could quite possibly convince psuedo-liberals and conservatives alike that this "Dung" character is the Asian-American component on her ticket!  (Howdya like them apples, first ever African-American first family!) When, in reality.... and here's a scary thought.... Dung is Bachmann... as in:  (Twilight Zone music fades in) Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann 2012 (Twilight Zone music fades out). After all, Michele Bachmann's face is being flung about in political circles and the press like so much monkey crap at the zoo. And  there is all this b.s. going around about how they both are so attractive. There might be a connection. You see how this could spiral out of control. If  it looks like it might happen I will sell demonstration signs on my cafe press site.

Help support a middle-aged artist and writer today!  Buy your magnets and buttons now, and begin the campaign against meaningless answers to meaningful (or at the very least, semi-meanignful) questions. Help prevent crap abuse and the squandering of manure. It could be a valuable and much needed alternative energy source...

www.cafepress.com/palincrapola

Peace and all that crap,
Sherri Faye
Artist/Writer/Thinker/Voice
(c) 2009  Sherri Faye   All Rights Reserved.

Sarah Palin: Going Vogue - Defining America's Obsession with Looks

Sarah Palin: Going Vogue.
Seriously... how much more do we, as a country, find it necessary to publicly demonstrate our overall "junior high" mentality when it comes to being more concerned with appearance than substance?! I have nothing against attractive people. I consider myself to be reasonably attractive. But I care MORE about what kind of person I am. And when it comes to politicians all I care about is their character make-up, integrity, intellect, and ability to assess situations and make wise, informed decisions.

The currently obsessive press coverage about how unbelievably good looking Barak Obama is, and how beautiful his wife, Michelle Obama, is, serves to clearly illustrate my point. He's our PRESIDENT not the homecoming king for Pete's sake. You would think that we have coast to coast trolls residing in our country and all previous presiders of this haven for hideous beasts known as the USA were Quasimoto impersonators to varying degrees of success with it. Like we have never seen a nice looking human being before! Let alone in office! (gasp, ooh, ahh) Is Barak Obama in charge of the United States or Project Runway? Are we actually on some kind of broad scale reality show rather than partaking in citizenship of a progressive  nation? What's it called? Citizen Vain? Because if that's the case, I want to read my contract. I at least want royalties on syndication and merch! Our so-called journalism is starting to look like a hallway full of hormonal materialistic nitwits passing notes about who's the cutest kid in class and who lit the last match, signifying certain death in a house of ill repute. I can see it now, Meet the Press becomes TeenBeat by years end. And the jokers (with a few exceptions) running around at press conferences with cameras, pens, notepads, and recording devices are actually a bunch of second rate Sum Cum Loudmouth graduates from Clown College.

Again with the digressing! I can't help myself. I write how I think, and how I talk - usually. All this gawking and squawking about the physical beauty of our political leaders and wanna-be leaders has gotten out of hand. I would blame it on Hollywood, but it's we the people who buy into the hype. Hollywood is just a side-effect of the shallow-souled base that places more value on looks than heart/mind/soul. At least the aforementioned politicians don't look like they've had any 'work' done to look good. But you never know what tomorrow will bring. At the rate we're going, we'll be dubbed "The United States of Botox" before you know it. It's pathetic. Somebody please tell those idiots in showbiz " hey... pssst... we can tell when you have unnaturally inner-tube like inflated lips, implanted jawbones, and nips, tucks and drawstrings to hold your face up". You aren't fooling anybody. I suppose I am digressing again... but I make a necessary point. You see, it's all part of the materialistic narcissism running rampant in this huge dysfunctional family known as my country 'tis of thee. Who has the the coolest this, the newest that, the biggest bank account, the sexiest elbows, the whitest egads-where-are-my-sunglasses veneered grin has eclipsed the importance of the other part of the American Dream. The one that Martin Luther King so elegantly defined in his "I have a dream" speech. If he were here today he would  likely bear the expression of Munch's "Scream" and be hellbent on pounding the pavement with a new and riveting lecture series entitled "Somebody Wake Me The Hell Up, I'm Having a Damn Nightmare".

Before I get off of my soapbox, a.k.a. "high horse"... I would be remiss if I did not  go on record pointing a finger at professional sports and the music industry for their part in this sickness. Overindulgent, self-obsessed athletes and ego-maniacal music makers and moguls are both a cause and a symptom of the same social and moral disease plaguing this country that propels the looks of Sarah Palin ahead of the weight of her thoughts and words. Swine flu pandemic? This moral decay of epic proportions should be called the "Mine Flu".. it's all about I, Me, Mine... blah, blah, bling, bling... Where's the vaccine production on this one? Far, far behind the latest technology to make our exteriors outlast our insides, you can count on that.

Let's see, I think I have covered the basics. The media, the music industry, Hollywood, professional sports...  and the suckers who buy into the unrealistic images thrust before us on a daily, if not minutely, basis.
WHICH brings me full circle... back to the topic at hand. The obsession with Sarah Palin's looks. Yes, it's true she is a very good looking woman. Her name may sound a bit like Sarah; Plain and Tall but she far from fits that kind of description. Sarah Palin is a really attractive person. Can we acknowledge it and MOVE ON! to what used to be known as the i.s.s.u.e.s.?

Note: I, myself, am guilty of using make-up, getting my hair highlighted, constantly dieting - the usual middle-classed, middle-aged, middle-amercan glamour treadmill. I also wear black quite often - it's slenderizing. And I shower. I remove body hair (namely mowing my legs and armpits, and tweezing rogue facial hair - mostly in the brow area). And I use cheap over the counter teeth whitener. And I take vitamins. So, in my own mainstream way, I am part of the problem I just blasted away about. I like to refer to my specific type of behavior where this is concerned as 'normal'. But that would still be denying the fact that I do try to 'enhance' my physical condition and appearance. They say admitting it is the first step... I'm just holding myself accountable.

I stand by my original complaint. Pay attention to what Sarah Palin is really talking about when it comes to politics, and less attention to what Sarah Palin is wearing or how shapely Sarah Palin's calves might be.
(I wonder what teeth whitener Sarah Palin uses?)

Hey! Buy my stuff, so I can buy more make-up. Maybe I can get enough money together to get the crease in my forehead botoxed... but the buck stops there. I promise. I'll buy groceries and  renew the tags on my '93 Olds first. I have priorities. Click here to buy cool Palin Crapola gifts and help me pay for my ... er... tags on my car.

www.cafepress.com/palincrapola

Here's Lookin' At Ya (with the same frozen expression for approximately 6 months),
Sherri Faye
Artist/Writer/Thinker/Voice
(c) 2009  Sherri Faye    All Rights Reserved.

Sarah Plain: Going Vague with more non-answers.

SARAH PALIN:  Going Vague - Answering America's Questions... only not.
What do I have against Sarah Palin? Nothing personally. I just don't want her "runnin' " the country with non-answers (and no "g's").

Sporting night vision goggles wouldn't be enough to help Palin see and create a clear national vision with true depth. Perhaps it's those perpetual-bangs-in-her-eyes that are the real roadblock? Does that bug you, or is it just me? Does she use really sticky mascara that her hair gets stuck in? Does she wear sans lens prop glasses in order to appear smarter? The hollow frames thereby allowing those annoying tentacles of hair to seek out and cling to those sticky lashes? These are questions I ask myself when I see her on television. Are these seemingly small distractions part of the republican master plan? The schmooz rues? I mean, between the pretty face, malfunctioning eyewear, the blinking-batting eyes, those medusa-like tendrils of wandering locks that somehow succeed in achieving that "fun-hair-in-her-eyes" look, and that gosh-durned loveable Annie Oakley "g"-less lingo of hers, we just might not notice that Sarah Palin doesn't really 'answer' political questions.

When it comes to the real questions, Sarah Palin provides 'danswers' rather than answers. In other words, she responds to even the lightest political inquiries with  vagueries and innuendo filled tapdances that are painfully obvious to the informed viewer. Sarah Palin: Going Rogue? The only thing going rogue with her life, besides that little varmint who impregnated her daughter, is her wild-ass bangs! Again, I digress...
Going Rogue has inspired me to create some products with just one of my kooky ideas. The real story? Sarah Palin: Going Vague.

Click here to check out what may be the perfect gift for you or your best friend, or whoever you know that has had enough of the Palin tapdance.
www.cafepress.com/palincrapola

Here's Lookin' at Ya (er, at last blinkin' in yer general direction),
Sherri Faye
Arist/Writer/Thinker/Voice
(c) 2009 Sherri Faye   All Rights Reserved.

You've Been Splatted! By Sarah Palin.

Some people get 'punked' and some get 'splatted' with Sarah Palin Crapola...

Have you heard enough non-answers out of that woman to last several lifetimes (even reaching into your past lives)?! I know I have. I got this weird "hollow headache" after I listened to a few of Palins interviews launching her new book, "Going Rogue" (An American Life). Picture it: Between the dedication page and "the end" page the actual book contents are filled with hundreds of empty pages. It's kind of like "The Emperor's New Clothes"... only it's "The Almost Vice President's and Who Knows, Someday I Might Be the Actual President's New Book, er, Non-book". At least that will be the case for the 'eyes of the wise'. Should we accept this mission and read said book, we, the wise ones, will see blank pages, because we have special vision that filters non-essential information. Seriously, do you think there will be anything in it of true political and social value and insight? The wise will see the vacant pages that many trees died for. The foolish will see words and read them, and believe them for they cling to and re-sell empty words as if made of gold. Fools Gold that is.

I wonder if her book is written in Sarah-speak... you know what that is, right? The editor may need therapy after this one, having spent God knows how many hours ensuring that all words ending in "ing" are changed to end in "in' ".  Am I right, or am I right? With Sarah Palin as the Prez or VP, America could very well end up with Palinese as the national language! What would we do? Well, I'll tell ya what we'll be doin'.... fishin', drinkin', votin', gamblin', marryin', swimmin', singin', laughin', and freakin' screamin' into our collective futures! That's what! The letter 'g' might be removed from our alphabet! That's what! aaaaaaaarrrggghhhhhh!  would be aaaaaaaarrr___hhhhhh!  That's what! I know, I digress...
I bet her real last name is Paling.

Have I made my point? In the event that I have not, let me re-iterate: Sarah Palin does a good job of snowing the media and the foolish with beauty, charm, wit, and ambiguous answers. That's when the viewers, the believers, the astonished, and the distracted "Get Splatted".

As a remedy to my own economic woes, and in an effort to pump fresh ideas, truth, humor, and perhaps some money, into the general economy, I have been inspired (almost overnight!) to create some funny gifts just in time for CYBER MONDAY and the holidays! I have an online store with fun, political humor about Sarah Palin. Featuring "You've Been Splatted!" with Sarah Palin Crapola t-shirts and more! Click here to find the PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT!
www.cafepress.com/palincrapola

Shop, drop and roll with laughter,
Sherri Faye
Artist/Writer/Thinker/Voice
(c) 2009  Sherri Faye     All Rights Reserved.